Friday, December 26, 2008

Economy Solution - The New York Yankee$

I believe the true answer to the financial crisis is to allow the New York Yankee$ to buy the top five banks in America as well as the big three auto makers.

Apparently, there is no economic recession if your last name is Steinbrenner, as in New York Yankee$ owner Hank Steinbrenner.

In the past 12 months or so, the New York Yankee$ have signed five players... FIVE... to contracts totaling more than three-quarters of a BILLION dollars!

They have a brand new stadium, being funded in part by taxpayer bonds.

And what's more scurrilous about this is the way the Yankee$ have most recently gone about it. For recently signed first baseman Mark Texeira they waited until all of the other teams bidding for his services played out, then trounced the top bid by an insurmountable sum at the last second.

Certainly, they will win at least 105 baseball games this year as well as the World Series. If not, they should fire every manager, coach, and executive with the team.

Do all of the citizens of New York really want their tax dollars going to buying every top level baseball player available? If so, I'm sure they'll pay $2500 a seat at the games and $11 a beer in droves, and I'm sure won't mind a few dollars going to bail out the Republican recession as well.

The Yankee$ are truly the evil empire, but they can turn that around by becoming our benevolent benefactors.

I hope the people of New York are happy cheering for their championship team while they're looking for a job, declaring personal bankruptcy, losing their health insurance (such as it is these days), and seeing a radical increase in violent crime. People of New York, you will get what you pay for.

So how about sharing some of your tax dollars with the rest of us? It's only fair if we're going to be the whipping boys for your store-bought All-Star baseball team.

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